Seadwell

sigh

2011-12-12T15:49:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i wonder why am i such an introvert.

Wheel of wind and water

2011-08-29T12:50:00.000+08:00

Im in a transitioning phase in my life where i don't know who i am so this prose is dedicated to myself

I could well be deliberately burying myself in a grave where i want to bring all thoughts
and emotions to a standstill, my eyes seem to rotate like the clock that watches the clock of time
flashing forwards and backwards,
and as i rest in the epitome of silence,
two or three more faces hover over the frosted glass of mirror and other mirrors move around them like marchers of the dead, but the dead can't see what the dead doesn't know. This melancholic wind of morrow molests me under my skin, jading the one true feeling of thing that lifts me up from the shadow of the desire to fly! with the fields of horses amongst purple seas, and cyan sands, perhaps even yellow trees

Into the Sea

2011-05-31T01:37:00.001+08:00

Into the Sea

draft 1

The sea, the sea
If only i lived, under or below
bottom and down,
deep and hollow
and down, and down, and down i go
below the surface
i cannot breathe

But atleast i get to see the sea
in all its vastness
of deep green treasures
sinking in
and blinking
the waters momentarily blind my eyes
with fishes and sponges
all around the beds of shiny, spiny lobsters

Swimming in circles,
round and round and round, i go
as sun light comes tickle-ing
the skins of my eyes
and i would very much like to
swim ahead of all these fishing sharks
and to seek the mirth in silver light
and light i find upon a broken stone
oh my, how wonderful the sea can be

The sea, the sea
if only i lived, but under or somewhere
below
and bottom i go, the furthest to swim
to dream of land dwelling monsters that cannot swim
and think of naught but wonderful things

But where do i go?

And see, and see, i see the sea,
and seeing
what is not misleading
Drinking the poison that is
not thirst nor hunger
merely the longing to feel deeply

Oh my, how wonderful the sea can be

Most Things

2011-05-15T20:09:00.000+08:00

Newly written song inspired by Nirvana's cover of Man who sold the world.

It's about denial. it's kind of sarcastic

Most Things

Four walls will keep me safe because

i live in a big red blue house
the moonlight creeps upon the door
but i'm not ever sad

Hey, i miss the most

things like crawling by your side

hey, the most you'd miss

things like crawling by my side
I miss you most

My golden watch
will tell you how to cheat the sun
when to step out
or when to have a bit of fun

Hey, i miss the most, things like crawling by your side
And hey, i'm sorry, the most you miss

things like crawling by my side

I miss you most

Sometimes

2011-05-08T20:36:00.003+08:00

Sometimes
(New poem... still thinking of a better title)

Sometimes i speak to the universe,
and the universe sings back to me certain songs,

And the shadows of the leaves move faintly
as i walk across an empty land.
And this empty land seems weary
as it watches the invisible hands
that mould the glasses which mirror colors in day light,
to comfort a prancing child that screams in delight,
but the night does grow fiery
when it screams in fight and fear

Sometimes the world swallows the world,
like the tip of my tongue that swallows my words,
and the tick of the time turning tables on the fields
on the fields of pouring rain
with its seasons of numbing pain
and its cackling amusement
much to my own confusion

Spart

2011-03-28T13:30:00.023+08:00

i have been occupied in climbing the other side of the willow fence. It's an adventure that i've started to work freelance recently... well mostly graphic design work. still in a intermediate level state of mind...as an artist, designer or whatever. im not sure i consider myself a visual artist, because nowadays there's alot of them, and ALOT of great ones too, and way more motivated and disciplined than i am. But maybe i'm just honing my skills? Maybe i want every step of the way to be an adventure. Can't break this idealism in my head.

Oh well. there is something amazing about helping people to translate ideas, or written words, into= complete pictures.

Logo & Poster for the Society of Performing Arts, Taylor's Uni College. (where is SEGi's Society of Performing Arts :[ ) my sister is vice presidenting this club.

this work was fun because i went to check out Taylor's Uni in Subang, and they have a minimalist & clean exterior and interior design. i went by with that and squeezed in an image of wooden torch lights conjuring up sparks of colors. sparks of colors being creativity. But that poster's white mask sucks. but hey that rustic shakespearesy background does not!

All in all, i like rustic.

Quick getaway

2010-07-19T00:53:00.005+08:00

I feel lousy. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by everything's that happening around you, all you can do is close your eyes and wait, but the feelings never disappear?

Driving through the highway today i realised there will always be things i have to search for and at the same time, things i have to let go of.

Don't really know why i feel so crappy, maybe cause this quick getaway gave me the time and space to reflect about some things in my life right now. The closer i get to being somewhere, the emptier i feel. Probably not in a bad way, but just......the lonelier i feel. More real. More intense, more lasting. Well this kmakes sense, since im such an idealist. The questions i ask are deeper, the answers i get less clearer.

I was singing alot on the drive back home, something like a badly scratched tape between tool's sober, Train's drops of jupiter and the moffatts' i miss you like crazy hahaha. Well it was from the radio. I haven't really sung in awhile, perhaps that's why ive felt so crappy. I've been stuck i think, on that creative part of myself. I think i'm not letting go of something. It's always the same situation, you have to get hurt and heal, hurt and heal, until you reach that happier place in your head that makes you a more comfortable soul amongst all the chaos that is life.

Well this is my first emo-writing-post mnyahah, i hope it gets a little better. I need to cut my friggin hair.

Staring at the Chiaroscuro

2010-06-06T17:31:00.005+08:00

This is one of the most awesomest Black/White paintings i have ever seen. By Kazuya Akimoto.

There's a certain "motion" in those pictures that if you just stare at it, you can almost hear it! A certain story, a situation, the lack of situation. A little piece of the puzzle waiting to disperse into this hollow world. Love it!

I highly recommend anyone to go his website and do more staring.

Vertebrate

2010-05-11T09:33:00.008+08:00

Alright...since i posted a painting from 2007, i guess,might as well add in another one from 2007. I think i painted alot during that time. And i dont know why but theyre abstract creepy looking. Kinda like a dark period of time where things were messed up in my life.
anyway i'm thinking of posting all my old artworks here,ive had them jumbled up on a web server and you'd think i'd post something recent but it doesnt sound so bad when i present something from the past. it's kinda like turning the pages from inside an old diary. You had to have come from somewhere.

At a glance,you might notice something in it. i cant remember what the hell i was thinking about when i did this.

it's verterbrate. so it's got something to do with having a backbone. and... ermm....** wait it's coming... ummm.... oh yea, spinal cord! backbone! humans, mammals, reptiles and even fish, has verterbrate. the strokes i used try to show that. the backbone idea.

actually i remember this being a happy painting about having met a few wonderful people at that time. that's where the moon comes in, yea that's the moon up there. So the big lumpy stuff is ofcourse a person, wrapped up as in a form of a baby or whatever you want. For the most part, it's really about 'support', the help we get from other people, the help we give ourselves and to others. it cant be compared to other kinds of deeds. we live in a world where we all rely on each other for support and strength. Our verterbate symbolises this. I guess i was feeling grateful...

Potrait 1

2010-04-30T14:05:00.008+08:00

I feel like posting something different today.
This is a potrait painting of 1 of my fav musicians.

The Perfect Sense

2010-04-27T15:40:00.001+08:00

The Perfect Sense

It makes sense
that this tide weaves into silver drops
and it washes the poison buried deep in the water of heaven

It makes sense
that you would weep with despair and agony
for there won't be another cry enough
to mold the majestic palaces of the joy you feel so secretly

It makes sense
that you wonder in so deep
to sleep at night
to caress this restless starlight
that has been sewn upon your veins

It makes sense
that you and i will cease to love one another
whence the heart should finally cease to linger

It makes sense
that my throat rages on, when my eyes are deformed
for the tears will no longer shed

It makes sense
that no one here knows your secrets
for your breathing is like the rain that
encourages the sunlight
to dawn every moving day

Awhile

2010-04-27T13:33:00.003+08:00

It has been awhile..... i'm glad to be writing back bcoz i never felt like deleting this part of my life. i've had some new poetry written but that was kinda some time ago. so i'll just post something new here. also, the DL links to my old songs are all gone but the lyrics are still there to be read.

A Calm Sanity

2008-01-21T18:23:00.003+08:00

A Calm Sanity

Where this eye can see
this eye cannot see very much
Where the breathe is taken down to shudder
no longer will the soul be ripped apart

Tell us of the sparks that rose into a stream of a perfectly calm sanity
smother our smoky flight, carved over in the soundless corner
dreaming of once upon a picture
blue and flawless, green and mighty

Savor little spites in the thorns of a feather
keep them! keep them!
for your own better judgement
Bleed inside red eyes... for the shaping of your limbs
depends so much on you

So much depends on you

Thorns in a Feather

2008-01-16T17:15:00.004+08:00

Thorns in a Feather

Gone two by two

upon the wicked

cynical as you

whimpering inside

the time that's left to you

pouring the thinking

into words of the thought led astray

Inside this room
the empty words smile
like fire on a tomb
too great to realise
the time that's left to you
pouring the thinking
into words of the thought led astray

(You) watch the days being used to find you
watch the ways you would use to cry to

Too Fast

2008-01-02T17:32:00.002+08:00

Happy new year :)

Too fast

Oh we're living in a sky

we watch the world go by

we're living in a dream

the light is coming fast

i wanted to you see

the burning sky up high

and what it did to me

the light is burning fast

Please don't let me

disconnect you from

this wonder somber delight

you're going too fast

This won't let me

disconnect you from

this wonder somber delight

you're going too fast

too fast

Dazed

2007-12-30T15:04:00.002+08:00

Dazed

Lock all the doors in the seas

when the paved day is sealing the way

watch it all turn into tricks

were they made to decease in this land?

While they might try to find you

too late, all the hope is sinking down

Lock all the doors in the seas

when the paved day is sealing the way

Like the silent sea sailing afar to

light the summer breeze

dazed, without you gone

Like the sound of tears tailing time through

what's the word? Oh we are dazed

without you going on down

For the Damned

2007-11-08T19:23:00.002+08:00

i wrote this today to one of Kentang's song, originally entitled For the Damp, and is now called For the Damned, due to the weird soundingness of Damp.

For the Damned

Well i've said to you
all that i've hide
constantly sealed by the words on a
lone wheel
giving into me

Leave it for two
i'm going through to you
less by a day, you're losing through to me
leave on the lighting
for the damned

Watched by the moon
in circles we'd be
flies in a two
attentive to the
last time anew
slow singing for the
damned
damned

Well i can't breathe again
cause i can't hide
all these words again
spoken of the
i oh me - wouldn't you come in here?

Leave it for two
i'm going through to you
less by a day, i'm losing through to you
leave on the lighting
for the damned

Watched by the moon
in circles we'd be
flies in a two
attentive to the
last time anew
slow singing for the
damned
damned

Altair

2007-10-14T10:28:00.003+08:00

Altair

I know

what's it gonna take

for you to run away

step inside a little lie, come and see a star

for all parts of your presence defined are here

bathed in every secret memory

written on each moon

you have yet to find

Dream in destiny

2007-10-13T00:59:00.003+08:00

its emotional and personal to me,
the lyrics are just an abstract part of that emotion. its about the ultimate fate of being human.

Dream in destiny

wake up, Sun
i've gone to fight all my foes
i'll tell you tonight where the captives are hidden

but nobody cares
have to call on my own
will walk on the desert and ill pray here tonight

dream in destiny

Sealight

2007-09-25T15:23:00.001+08:00

This was dedicated to a certain someone:) May he have the best happiness in life for all his kindness and friendship.

Sealight

Singing in the palms of golden clay
breaks the daylight in two
whispers in a
listen, listen..
theres a
summer pouring out solitary

Pieces calling back
quiet in the sealight
breathlessly child like

Tonight come back
while away a time with me here
tonight come home
your presence is comforting
inside i am whole

The Walking

2007-09-18T00:44:00.002+08:00

The Walking

Along the side of a place
that i'd never walk again
no wonders left to see me through
so little left to say to you
(im walking down)
this city in sirens
colliding with the saddest day
ignited by the light in space
delighted by the memories

This face is alright
im walkin on by
all caught up inside
well,im walkin on by

This phase is a trial
still walkin on by
just caught up inside
im walkin on by

Last to live

2007-07-25T03:07:00.002+08:00

This was published on Damazine.com in Spring 2008 :)

Last to Live

Whispers that breathe in the shape of a triangle
a pretty face makes up color in mere darkness
silly songs are sung
and complete a broken feature
whilst echoes of footsteps are ascending to blend in
caressing the wakes enchanted by mysterious laughter until…
minutes drag the trickles from a shadow of a nearby shore
into a never-ending forever,
you and I
are the last to live.

Stalker

2007-07-22T02:17:00.001+08:00

Stalker

I found something
shapes of things
sensing things

Aimless blend, that i cannot mend
narrow way, lifeless affection that calls my name through the timeless sand

You seem so far away yet you are right in my sight
and this pain, this pain i keep trying to fight
I asked of god, no god in sight
I asked of you but where are you?

Woundless pain; tearing me apart..kills me in my heart
it must be....by love or lust
the other face, my stalker phase
the one that lives inside of me
Lost, nothing, never, less

A Lesser Memory

2007-07-03T15:48:00.001+08:00

A Lesser Memory

Here in my eyes, the smile i hear so loud beneath a shudder
I start to wonder how it all began,
unjustified what life it brings to feel everything

but speak of only this...i question why it even begin

Of faraway land that circles life's end, i wonder where you'd be
my whispers dissolve into the breeze;
the hungriest i felt and so to ease...
myself
I comfort whats left of the hours, the rain cloud comes over when thoughts of another
come to motion like desire of short devotion,
it aches so often
so often
so long
its time to disappear
so please be gone, Oh my loved one

Sleepwalking

2007-07-03T15:36:00.001+08:00

Sleepwalking

I shall drag you as we stroll into a morning light,
craves brushed aside, holding onto me tight
bittersweet taste of a golden flicker,
painting the memory that we will run to
oh run, my sweet, run the night away..

Wind swept are the empty haze collecting the child of a sun,
by bringing forth sea lights
that diminish in a few small wakes of laughter,
laden with somnolence that fall beyond a fall that might rise,
to the shadows that have gone .... not yet.

Ghoul

2007-07-03T15:13:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, Maryam here... ive made a blog to share my poetry n maybe some art stuff...
hope you all enjoy.. For today i'll juz post a few poems that i wrote in the past.